Homemade Not-Donuts

I am, quite frankly, shocked at all the recipes I've seen lately for the whole biscuit "donuts" I've seen everywhere.  I wasn't aware this was a huge revelation as this is something that's been done in my family since my grandma used to make them for my mom when she was a kid, so even though make them every few months or so, I never thought to blog it.

The only reason I'm blogging this now is that I'M not going to piss down your back and tell you its raining like every other blogger I've read that's done these and tell you they taste like the best donuts you've ever had.  They don't.  They don't even taste like donuts.  They are delicious, but they just taste like something that sort of resembles donuts.

First step is to get some sort of frying substance going.  Get a fairly deep skillet or saucepan, put that puppy on the heat (I use high - I have a ceramic burner stove and it just doesn't heat up like a lot do, so you may have to play with the temperature).  I used butter this round.  I usually use whatever cooking oil I have on hand, but I was out, so I decided to be evil.

While that is meting and/or heating, mix up some things to dunk them in once they get done frying.  I used plain sugar for some and cinnamon sugar for others, which is what mom and grandma always used.  However, I got a bright idea and decided to try something a bit different, so I also made a cocoa powder/sugar mixture.  BEST.  DECISION.  EVER.

Once your butter or oil is nice and hot it is time to get started.

Carefully add your canned biscuits to the oil.  A lot of people take the time to cut them into little donut shapes, but they don't taste like donuts, so I don't bother.

Fry them until they are golden-brown all the way around (this one I left in a second too long), then pull them out of the oil with tongs and let the excess oil drip onto a plate for a minute - but just a minute.  You don't want to put them on a paper towel to dry, and if you do, not for too long, because the sugar mixes won't stick.  Once the majority of the oils drip off, plunk it in the sugar mixture and roll it around.

Drizzle with chocolate syrup and you're done!

Here's one of the plain sugar ones split apart so you can see the inside.  It does get fluffy and nice, and they do cure a sweet tooth, but...They don't taste like any donuts I've ever had.

All in all, these are definitely worth making, but if you expect donuts, I'd say you'd be disappointed.  If you make them just expecting a tasty treat, then you're golden!

<3
WW

Triple Post! Ice Cream, Shakes, and Green Tea Powder!

This is going to be a pretty huge post, but its three things that all sort of consist of one another.

This is the end result:

A home-made vanilla and strawberry ice cream green tea milkshake.  :)

We're going to start off with green tea.  I just bought some cheap green tea bags and used a mortar and pestle.  The general idea, if I understand correctly, is that consuming the entire leaf of the green tea is healthier than just drinking it as a tea.  Thus, my idea here, is to add some healthy-ness into my completely un-healthy summertime shake addiction.  :)

 

I snipped off the top of the bags using some scissors, poured the contents into a mortar and pestle, and ground it until it was as fine a powder as I could get it.

 

Not too bad.  You can stop at 2tsp of powder if you want, because that's what it took to make the two large shakes, but I kept going...

I did a whole box of them and poured them into a container so I would have a supply. >.<  Now, if you don't like the flavor of green tea, you can stop there, but I love it, so I took 2tsp of the powder and put it into 4tsp of water in a cup and put it into the fridge to sit until it was shake time!  If you aren't fond of the flavor, I'd imagine you wouldn't really taste it much, if at all, if you just add the powder flakes straight to the shake at the end.

On to the ice cream!!

 

First, slice up about a cup of strawberries.  You may chop if you prefer.  :)

 

Then, take a teaspoon of vanilla...

 

...and add it to a pitcher with 2 1/2 cups of milk...

 

...and one can of sweetened condensed milk.

 

 Pour half of that into your ice-cream maker and put the other half in the fridge to make later.  Unless, of course, your ice-cream maker is bigger than mine!

 Then, add half the strawberries and let the ice cream maker do its thing.

Here's where I got lazy on pictures, but once its done, add it to the blender with the green tea mix or 2 tsp of the powder, whichever you choose, add a little milk, blend it up, and there ya go!  This made the two big shakes you see below.  Your milkshake just got a bit healthier.  I can't wait to try this with spinach or kale powder added as well, but I need a dehydrator first!

Isn't it pretty?  Since I soaked the tea, it did have a light but distinct green tea flavor in the background.

<3
Wookie Wifey

Peanut Butter Cookies

This is my go-to peanut butter cookie recipe.  It is simple, tastes great, isn't too sweet, and freezes like a dream.

To start off, here's the starring line-up.  I personally think the cookies taste better with organic peanut butter, but it is up to you.

First, add 1/4 cup of butter to your bowl.

Then, 1/2 cup of applesauce.

1 cup sugar... Raw works better, but white is all that's in the budget at the moment.

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract.

2 cups of flour...

1 cup of peanut butter.  You can even use crunchy if ya want.

After the flour, add 1/4 cup of milk (I used skim), the mix it all up with either a mixer or a fork, whatever.  This mix will get pretty thick, though, so make sure your  mixer can handle something like this.

If you have a cookie press, load it up and pipe some cookies on to some wax paper.  If not, then just roll 1-inch balls of dough, then press them flat with the back of a spoon or fork.  Slide them into the freezer for about 2 hours, then you can move them from the wax paper into a freezer bag or container.

Ignore the splatter on the back of the freezer.  The vegetable stock?  Yeah, I did that the same day I did this and apparently there was some splashage.

Splashage.

Yay for new words!

Anyway, since I doubt you have room in your freezer for the gazillions of cookies this will make (I make them rather small, admittedly), pop the dough in the fridge between batches.

If you have a cookie press, I hope you are better with yours than I am.

Some of my cookies came out cute, but some came out...

Well...

I did finally get the hang of the heart-shaped press, though, YAY!  Score one for the home team.

Not quite sure how to stop the y-shaped thing in the middle though...Maybe flip them over next time?  It is disconcerting.  It makes them look like they're about to go out to a bachelorette party.  Which is great and cute, but these are just for everyday eating, not for a naughty party.  Its not like I'm just sitting around and suddenly am struck with a craving for penis-cookies.

Well, since these have phallic shapes on them and are the ones in my freezer at the moment, then maybe I do!  O.O

Whenever you get a craving for penis-cookies (or the other shapes), preheat your oven to 350, pop them in for 10-15 minutes depending, of course, on whether you like your cookies soft and chewy or crunchy and crumbly, and there you go!  These really do taste about the same whether you bake them right away or whether they've been sitting in the freezer for a while, so they are very convenient to have on hand.  An easy way to make a few cookies to satisfy a craving without making a HUGE batch every time you get a sugar craving.

<3
The Wookie Wifey

Strawberry-Cherry Soda Cupcakes

I've been seeing things all around the web about making cake mixes with soda, so I figured I'd give it a try and put my own twist on it.  This was one of those times when adding things by impulse worked out oh-so-right.  These cupcakes are Wookie-approved.  They are the best cupcakes I've made to date and trust me - I've made a metric fuckton of cupcakes in the 5 years we've been together.   These things are delicious, super-easy, and a good example of how you can tweak boxed and packaged mixes to get a different taste when you're too tired/too lazy/too broke/don't have enough space to cook from scratch.

First, just get a cheap box of cake mix.  Doesn't matter what brand.  I picked strawberry because it is my favorite.  I picked off-brand because it is the cheapest.

Next, add 12 ounces of diet lemon-lime soda.

Once you get to the end of the soda, it becomes delightfully frothy and bubbly!  Mix it all up.  I tried to get the big clumps out, but wasn't concerned with the little ones.

Then, I added an entire jar of maraschino cherries.  Because I am evil.  Save the juice they are in, too.  More evil is about to be up in here, guys, so cross yourselves, or whatever it is you do to prepare.

Add them to your cupcake tin.  Either grease that baby up or line it with cupcake liners, whatever.  I used leftover cupcake liners I bought on clearance after Halloween.  I think it may be time to hit another clearance sale.

I am not a clean cook at all.  Usually, when I finish cooking it looks like no fewer than twelve things exploded with violent force in the kitchen.

Bake them at 350 or until a toothpick comes out clean, and then let them cool.

After that, its time to get started on the icing.

Dump one container of cheap, store-bought vanilla icing into a mixing bowl.  Whip it at a high speed until it starts to get fluffy.

Now, add about 2 or 3 tablespoons of the syrup reserved in the cherry jar and mix that in.

Mix until it is all uniform and until you reach your desired shade of pink.  I basically used the juice as a food coloring and as an added bonus it adds a slight cherry-flavored twang to the icing.

Ice them, sprinkle them, sugar them, eat them.

I'm going to go ahead and sign off here and leave you alone with delicious, sweet, sweet cupcake porn.

<3
The Wookie Wifey